I’ve had trouble writing for the past few weeks because a few unpleasant things happened and pulled me away from a creative use of my keyboard. I wished I was free to do whatever I pleased. I’m sure I’ll get there eventually. 😉
Here is how the drabble challenge works!
- Read the prompt and find your angle.
- Write a drabble (100 words story, give or take five words).
- Post a direct link to your drabble in the comments (or, if you don’t have a blog, just go ahead and post your drabble in the comments).
Today’s theme is “Freedom” but before we get to my drabble on that theme, I owe you one from last week’s Classifieds.
Looking for Something Special, Big Reward
I leaned in my chair after a long day of meeting people with “somethings.” I pulled my glasses off and massaged my nose’s bridge.
“It’ll never work.” My wife said, slamming a glass of water on my desk. “I’ll know when I see it.” She scoffed. “It’s crazy!”
I tapped the sign on my desk, clearly stating “Dr Riley, Mad Scientist”.
“We don’t have the money for the ‘big reward’.”
I sighed, annoyed by her incessant yelling. Once I had the right “something special”, I would patent the first bliss-maker. Money and my wife would be a problem no more.
Now for this week’s theme, I decided to attack it from the complete opposite angle. So here is a weird hybrid between a poem and a drabble. Yes, that makes a lot of rules to follow. *laughs* I like to make my life complicated. The number of syllables might not be exact because A) I don’t know how to accurately count those in English (or even if it’s as complicated as French) and B) counting syllables and words and rhymes would be a nightmare. I thought that making each line rhyme in the middle and at the end would be easier. NOT!
Anyway, here is a precisely 100 word-long poem-ish. 😉
I tugged on the feelings, the strings build by time
My invisible shackles, the hurdles of my rhyme
They would not loosen nor listen to my prayer
They would not budge nor sludge around my anger
For they knew from the start, my heart’s desire
I gathered my calm, a balm for my mind
I glanced at the chains, the pains there entwined
They would not weep nor sleep while I rage
They would not battle nor rattle my cage
For they knew from the start, my heart’s desire
For they knew despite the glum, my freedom is my lover.
January 22nd, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Nice drabbles! Rhyming in the middle of a line is a challenge. Syllable counting, too, lol. You did well!
Here’s my drabble…
January 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
… sorry you’re having a rough time. I hope things turn out okay.
January 23rd, 2011 at 11:49 am
Yeah, I went for a mirror-ish thingie in the end. End rhyme, filler word, end rhyme pattern in the middle of each line.
Anyway, thanks for the comment! I read and commented on yours.
And thanks for your support!
January 23rd, 2011 at 2:32 am
This one strikes me particularly hard XD.
January 23rd, 2011 at 11:58 am
Read and commented! 😉
January 23rd, 2011 at 3:43 am
That still a good drabble, maybe you can do better next time. Still some words not rhyme with the other. Nice try. Hehehehehe….
See you around.
January 23rd, 2011 at 11:52 am
Hello lunaticg and welcome to my blog,
Thank you for your comment. I guess when you say that some lines don’t rhyme you’re referring to the lines starting with “For they knew”? That was an intended pattern to link these three lines and make them stand out. 😉
January 23rd, 2011 at 2:57 pm
[…] have a horse, which is all I have to say to explain this post. This is for Aheila’s Drabble Day Challenge. Here is how the drabble challenge […]
January 23rd, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Little bit late, but here’s my drabble day. 🙂
January 24th, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Read and commented! Really sweet!
January 23rd, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I thought the rhyming was nice! Most people rhyme at the end of the sentence. Like the rhythm of the sentences.
January 24th, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Hello Sonia and welcome to my blog,
Thank you for this kind comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
January 24th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Lord Have Mercy, here is my Drabble, or Drivel, or Dribble, well, just know it comes from a non-writer. And the 100 word thing, LOL, won’t happen! My wordage is more toward Tolstoy, and far away from Helen Keller!
Freedom is the most illusive, damn-near impossible thing to find for any creature. One thinks of the mighty Bald Eagle soaring on thermals, as the symbol of freedom. Yet that magnificent bird is highly restricted by where and when it can go. They have responsibilities, providing for their families, keeping them all safe and secure, and teaching the young just how to be a Bald Eagle. Unless an island-hopping strategy is available, they can’t fly over oceans for very long. They can attack and eat any creature they want, but they must remember that that meal must have a “to go” status to it. They have to be capable of flying while carrying it! Moose might taste well above and beyond chicken, but if ole Bullwinkle doesn’t help you fly home, the return trip will have its challenges.
No man is an island, one never has complete freedom. And what a sad and lonely place that would be, if you could get there. I, personally, receive the most freedom from helping others gain some freedom. The baby I delivered on an emergency basis years ago. She evidently was not at all happy with her status in the womb, and she was exiting come-hell-or-high-water! For a while, that little thing really wanted freedom! The Mallard Duck whose wing was caught up entangled on a hook and fishing line. That little guy and I had a quite a discussion about his predicament, while I was trying to give him the freedom he sought. Sadly, I have no idea how much freedom either the girl or the duck have at this time. I know this for sure, humans were never made to have complete freedom. They tend to muck it up when they touch anything. So my wish is for you to have enough freedom to make you happy, no more.
January 25th, 2011 at 9:52 pm
It’s nice to see you’ve returned! You know, the idea of getting a non-writer motivated to write is satisfying for me. Maybe you’ll hit the 100 words challenge one day. I have a natural tendency to write a lot too. That’s why I decided to tackle the drabble format. 😉
As for your take on the theme, I think it’s very interesting. Philosophical more than purely narrative, it provides a nice change of pace. A lot of strong metaphors. Nicely done!
January 26th, 2011 at 2:07 am
Hello Aheila! LOL, thank you for your comments on my misguided Drabble! With such nice praise I’m afraid all of my English teachers are rolling in their graves, LOL! Except for getting hit in the head with a baseball bat, English classes were always my most favorite part of school! I must say though, it feels good to write, and it is always nice to have something to do with your brain other than keep the car in one’s lane! Take Care! Thank you! Don
January 26th, 2011 at 9:31 am
Every story starts with an inspiring idea and a passion for the words. The rest (structure, rhythm, flow, voice etc.) is technique that is developed with practice. 😉
I’m glad your having fun with this activity.
January 27th, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Hi A ~~ I really like what you did with your poem for this drabble . I know this is late , but here’s my freedom drabble :
Prisoner Z lay motionless on the hard , cold surface . The whip bore down viciously , delivering a series of blows to the torn , bloody frame . His lips , swollen and bloodied , twitched as he muttered incoherently , over and over , like a mantra … they can break my body but not my mind … not my mind …
As his broken body jerked involuntarily in the throes of death , his spirit lifted and began to rise . He could feel himself floating , weightless , fading , dissolving into nothingness …
The blessed state of oblivion loomed , closing in on him . His last exhilirating thought before he embraced it was ~~ freedom at last !
January 31st, 2011 at 11:20 am
Thank you and it’s never too late to drabble! 😉
I like your story. We really feel that the prisoner’s own body is a burden, a chain.
January 27th, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Awesome, i liked the rhyming one. I guess the theme this week is really late ;o)
January 31st, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Read and commented!
January 27th, 2011 at 4:43 pm
[…] of Ahelia’s weekly drabble challenge. This weeks prompt was Freedom. Muhahahaha, enjoy […]
January 27th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Hi Aheïla, sorry I’m mega late with my drabble this week but my Gran was rushed into hospital after a nasty fall and has broken her foot so my time has been split between visiting her in hospital and worrying about her anyhoo here’s my crack at it hope you enjoy.
To walk without it is to live without colour or sound to exist without it is to not exist at all. Many die to protect it to preserve it and some misguidedly kill to enforce it but truly can such a concept be enforced when it’s true meaning is choice?
Everyone with air in their lungs deserves it but few will ever drink from it’s cup. Our governments who are meant to uphold it are creating laws to abolish all rights to it under a false veil with one word written in blood upon it and that word is “Freedom”.
January 31st, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Oh! I hope your Gran gets well soon. And you don’t have to apologize; drabbles aren’t an obligation nor do they have an expiration date. 😉
I like your take on the theme. It’s true that there’s a lot of contradictions when it comes to freedom.