Sadness and Inspiration

Last week was one of those weeks that sucker punches plans out of the schedule and a good chunk of willpower along with them.

Last week, I lost my friend Tom.

Tom often joked about how I would write him into a story, and I answered that if I did him justice, I’d be critiqued for the lack of realism. Truth be told, trying to capture the essence of that man is a daunting task. I don’t think I’ll ever truly attempt it. I do have bits and pieces, though.

Tom admired the way I bounced back from negative events. He saw right away that I don’t avoid bad feelings; I tackle them, head first. I embrace the pain until I get sick of being miserable. Part of the process to come to term with his passing was to play heavy, dark music and relive memories and conversations. I wrote some of those down. Small glimpses of who he was that may or may not find their way into a story some day.

Once I had written my way to the words I needed to say goodbye, I realized that the happiness I got from our moments together outshines the sadness of loss. I’m thankful that we shared a small piece of each other’s journey through life. I know myself better because of him. I’m stronger for having known him. And though I’m not going to make him a character in a story, the impact he had on my life will transpire through the words for sure.

I’m on the other side of the “bounce back process,” now, able to talk about him with only a dull sense of sadness. Able to return to my plans and schedule. Which now not only include blogging, but also training! I missed the gym.

So this is the reason why I went a bit radio silent last week, and things are going back to normal now. 😉