Hello everyone and welcome to fellow Weekend Writing Warriors!
I’m posting another snippet from The Phoenix’s Wake today. This one is freshly “first drafted” as of yesterday evening. Yay!
Picture this: Cage fight, Gorgon (half woman, half snake) versus Minotaur (7 foot tall ripped man with a bull head). ‘nough said.
Spinning, the Minotaur hooked his free leg in the middle of my tail, his momentum dragging my body with him in an unpleasant contortion. The surprise turn of events stole the crowd’s breath. As the mesh closed in on me, I released the Minotaur’s neck and wrenched myself away. As a result, his arm unfolded from behind his back, still trapped in my tail and moving with it. My upper body came straight in front of him, my back parallel to the ground, my tail too weaved around his limbs to free it yet.
His fist –the size of my head– came in fast. I folded backward and the punch grazed my belly. My hands bounced off the mat.
It was a fun challenge to write an extensive fight scene in which the fighters are equally matched and one of them is very long and bendable. I hope the readers will be able to keep track of the tail and that it’ll all make sense. *laughs* Critiques are especially welcomed on this one.
Please read and give a shout to other WeWriWa!
September 14th, 2013 at 7:16 pm
Nice to read now what we talked about yesterday! 😀 And only eight sentences?! Well clearly you don’t need more to set up an atmosphere… Good for you! ^^
September 15th, 2013 at 2:33 am
I’ll send you the whole fight if you want but the WeWriWa rules are clear: 8 sentences, no more, no less. 😉
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
September 15th, 2013 at 11:29 am
Such an amazing fight scene and so vividly described! Terrific snippet…can’t wait for more.
September 15th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
*relief* Sometimes I wonder if stuff only makes sense in my head. Thanks for your weekly encouragement. 😉
September 15th, 2013 at 2:10 pm
I could see it happening in slow motion : ) Nice job Aheila!
September 15th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
Yay! Objective reached! There are some generic tackles and blows during the fight, but this is one of the key moments (which would probably be in slow motion if this was a movie). XD
September 15th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
**waves to Aheila** Love the concept here–gorgon vs. minotaur!
September 15th, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Hey Claire! Long time no see! The guy organizing the fights really like the concept too: an “all Greek” fight is good for his wallet. XD
September 15th, 2013 at 7:51 pm
I love paranormal cage matches. you never know what to expect. great fight scene even with the limits of 8 🙂
September 15th, 2013 at 9:29 pm
So true! I didn’t plan any of the fight ahead of time. Wasn’t even sure who would win until I wrote it! Thanks for stopping by!
September 16th, 2013 at 11:13 am
Really nice fight scene. It’s good that you are using the tail that much, it’s hard to imagine the movement of an extra limb. Nice 8!
September 16th, 2013 at 1:21 pm
Thanks Linda! As I started writing this, I realized that a normal boxing scene wouldn’t work at all. A bull uses its horn. A constricting snake, its tail. Getting into a beast mindset was fun.