NaNoWriMo Excerpt – Wine

It is Thursday and, as promised, I am offering you an excerpt of my NaNoWriMo project.
I want to warn you that this has been written quite fast, as any NaNo novel, and hasn’t been edited at all. Please bear in mind as you read that it isn’t perfect; it is a very early draft.

A little context before you begin. The main character, Tatiana, and her twin brother Damian are sitting in a tavern for dinner. They are blue blood searching for a crew, ideally a pirate crew, they could join. Éloi, a French sailor that later proves to be a pirate, has already accosted Tatiana once while her brother was getting their food.

My mouth dried up pretty fast from all the talking and the salty stew. I then noticed my brother didn’t bring me anything to drink. I reached for his tankard which he promptly withdrew from my grasp.
“You just accused me of being unladylike and now you keep me from manly drinks. Make up your mind or fetch me some wine.” My fiery comment attracted the attention of a few drinkers, including Éloi. He elbowed his way to the table with a wineskin and a metallic goblet.
“I’m afraid the wine of this establishment isn’t very agreeable, madame. Allow me.” He showed the goblet for my inspection. Its cleanliness was approved with a nod. Éloi poured a sip at the bottom of the receptacle and offered it for tasting which I performed with a smile. If his crew proved as well-mannered as him, we might find a place on his ship.
The wine’s deep color allowed the dim light of the candles to hit the metal beneath and reflect it. The clearness’s token of quality equalled the softness of the taste. No vinegary accents or displeasing staleness flavour from the wineskin.
“This wine is indeed quite pleasant to the palate.” I commented. Pleased, Éloi repossessed the goblet and filled it halfway.
“I’ll have some water brought over.” Damian said, raising his hand to attrack a waitress’s attention.
Sacrilège!” The Frenchman yelped. He covered my goblet with a comical air of disgust. His puppy-dog eyes silently pleaded me to make things right, to reassure him that English people knew how to properly appreciate wine.
“Yes, Damian, how dare you suggest to dilute that nectar?” Éloi relaxed his stance and released my drink. My brother fumed on the other side of the table. “Oh love, you know I can hold my liquor.”
“Your reputation is what worries me the most.”
“It’ll be our secret then.” Éloi offered. He bowed to my ear. “Find me if you want more.” Had he departed right this instant, my memory of him would have been fond. He would have been immortalized as a gentleman with a charming face and an undeniable elegance.
But he didn’t leave; he brushed my ears with his lips.
I seized the pitcher of water a waitress just settled on our table and poured it over the man’s head. I made sure to avoid getting wet myself. Once today was more than enough.
Éloi yelped. My brother burst in laughter, only to cease, seconds later, when it became apparent our finder-bender attracted the attention of half of our surroundings. My instinctive reaction hadn’t considered the risks. Every sailor of Éloi’s crew stood frozen, waiting on his reaction to dictate their next move.
Unabashed the Frenchman pushed a strand of stray dark gold hair behind his ear and adjusted his vest. An unshakeable smile stretching from ear to ear, he bowed to kiss my hand.
“I’m most grateful, madame, of the honour you bestowed upon me. I usually have to pay if I wish women to bathe me.” The gaggle of faces laughed. Did he mean I was cheaper than a prostitute?
“Well, sir, someone had to do something about the smell.” Damian replied. He cut me short which gave me the necessary time to bury my nasty, and potentially deadly, retort deep inside my chest. Éloi laughed, leading his friends down the same path.
“I knew someday I would pay for my laziness.” Upon those words, he curtsied and returned to his supporters.


About Aheïla

Somewhere in Quebec City, Aheïla works as a Game Design Director by day and writes by night. Known for her blue hair, unyielding dynamism and tasty cooking (quails, anyone?), she’s convinced “prose is the new crack”. She satisfies her addiction daily on The Writeaholic’s Blog and weekly on Games' Bustles View all posts by Aheïla

9 responses to “NaNoWriMo Excerpt – Wine

  • Jenn

    lol LOVE it! These 3 are going to be very intersting to watch! I can’t wait to get my hands on the whole thing!

  • LM Preston

    Girl that’s and awesome nanowrimo 1st draft. Hummmm, I don’t know if I’m brave enough to post mine.

  • Alyssa

    LOl, for you – I’ll always take time to read. 😉

    Well done Aheila!!
    Mine’s so bad I’m not sharing it. Though I do have one piece of dialogue I might share later, lol. No time now…
    Must write!

    Good luck and happy writing!!!

    • Aheïla

      Oh really?! I didn’t know that.

      I’m glad you like it. Quality is one of the reasons why I pace myself. I don’t obsess over the details but I don’t want to make the word count for the sake of it either (and I’m not implying that is what you do).

      I hope you reached your objective for today. I can’t wait to get back to it this evening! English nobles, French pirates, a steam-powered flying frigate and a bunch of red headed prostitutes are currently stuck in a room together… SO. MUCH. FUN.

  • Ryan

    Nobles, pirates and prostitutes… That does sound like a fun story! Leave it to you to think of it. 😉 Very creative!

    • Aheïla

      Thanks Ryan!
      Yup, this story certainly has the biggest cast and the most travelling I’ve ever written. I’m enjoying it very much. So far, I’ve navigated the noble’s world with a bit of pirates but as of this weekend, I’ll be digging deep into the pirates’ reality, rivals and so on.
      And there are scholars. Don’t forget the scholars. *laughs*

  • NaNoWriMo Excerpt – Scarlets « The Writeaholic's Blog

    […] Last week, I presented a scene from the very early chapters of the book when the main character of my story, Tatiana, met Éloi, the son of the Lafayette pirate ship’s captain. In the scene I am offering today, Tatiana and her brother Damian are housed in the brothel of one of Tatiana’s friend in preparation for a frigate race held in Calais. Éloi attempted to gain Tatiana’s favor a few times before this scene. Again, this scene has been written fast and furiously during NaNo and non-edited. Also, this scene happens in a brothel so prude readers might want to skip it. […]

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