Hello everyone and welcome to fellow Weekend Writing Warriors!
Like the preceding weeks, the 8 sentences I’m posting for the blog hop are from The Phoenix’s Wake today.
The setting for this week: Drea’s phone rings at 9am on a Saturday morning, while she’s in company of her wanna-be boyfriend, Liam.
I twisted cautiously to get Liam’s arm off me. It pulled away in a soft caress, taking the covers with it. Snuggled in his pillow, hair tousled and a nice full day old stubble, Liam looked at me with sleepy eyes. I smiled in a silent apology. He slipped a strand of my hair behind my ear and pointed the door with his chin. After planting a quick kiss on his forehead, I grabbed a robe and made my way to the living room.
“Yes?”
“I thought about something you said,” Keith said.
This week in the adventures of the first draft:
I didn’t get a whole lot written this week. This story is coming to me in a kaleidoscope, so I keep discovering major elements that need to happen prior to the chapter I’m supposed to be writing. This week, three characters showed their true faces to me. I have to go back and edit them because it impacts the plot in a significant way and I can’t find the end without at least a quick and dirty idea of the road.
As a result, I spent more time on Critique Circle, critiquing other people’s stories and setting up my next submissions. Critters are reacting well to The Phoenix’s Wake and being very helpful in making it better.
Overall, it was a productive week, just not the kind of productive I was aiming for. 😉
Please read and give a shout to other WeWriWa!
The Writeaholic's Blog 
September 29th, 2013 at 10:07 am
Nice 8. Your description is wonderful; I could visualize the scene unfolding. And now I wonder what he she said that has him thinking…
Transitional errors are such a risk when characters start talking, and tell us something we should have written in an earlier chapter. 🙂
September 29th, 2013 at 4:06 pm
If you’re wondering, then I’ve chosen these 8 right. *laughs* I don’t want to reveal the whole plot.
And I suspect I’ll have a few transitional errors to deal with when I start editing.
September 29th, 2013 at 11:31 am
I loved this scene. Makes me want to go back to bed! Also, have me curious to see what she might’ve said and how it’s going to impact on her current situation.
September 29th, 2013 at 4:07 pm
Thank you! It was important for me to show Liam and Drea interacting in a meaningful way. They have very little page time together.
September 29th, 2013 at 11:56 am
Nice feeling to this excerpt! I like the way you describe your story coming to you in kaleidoscope fashion BTW, very cool metaphor.
September 29th, 2013 at 4:07 pm
Thanks! That’s truly the best way for me to explain what’s going on in my mind.
September 29th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
very clear scene. I could see it. In one part where he points his chin I think you want to add the word “to” in front of “the door”. so it reads he pointed to the door with his chin.
September 29th, 2013 at 4:08 pm
Nice catch!
September 29th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
“Liam” is one of my favorite names for a guy, and always conjures up such a hot image for me. I also like where you ended this – leaves me wondering where it’s going. Great 8!
September 29th, 2013 at 4:10 pm
Then I’m glad I chose that name. I actually hated Liam the first time I wrote him into a scene. *laughs*
September 29th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Great use of the eights and letting me see the interaction of the couple. Well done!
September 29th, 2013 at 4:10 pm
Thank you!
September 29th, 2013 at 5:46 pm
I like the drowsy morning feel of this. Great 8 🙂
September 29th, 2013 at 8:37 pm
Thanks!