Vancouver, BC – The body of a twenty-five year old boy drifted ashore this morning, drained of all its blood.
The news spread like wildfire. The whole town talked about that murder before the morning’s coffee break. Helped by blogs, Twitter and other Internet channels, the news rippled further and the whole world swapped opinions during lunch. By the time the woman who found the body washed her dishes after dinner, she had already been asked plenty of times if the yet-to-be-identified victim had two puncture wounds. She received a bunch of emails about it too.
That was bound to happen when popular culture drilled the idea of vampires in everybody’s head.
“I should never have given the first interview to begin with,” she yelled in the receiver, hanging up on the last of the regional newspaper.
Edith Brooks made a gruesome discovery while taking her usual walk along the Pacific shore. She stumbled upon the half decomposed body of a young man that probably reached the beach sometime during the night.
Forensics have yet to identify the body. So far, we know the man was about twenty-five years old with brown hair. He would have been killed at least two weeks ago. The official cause of death is a wound to the neck that caused him to lose all his blood.
While everyone shuddered and whispered about the horrifying event, the vampire society tensed and investigated – an attempt to figure out if one of their own was indeed responsible. Negligently disposed of leftovers was a punishable offense and they had every intention to make someone pay.
“It’s bloody enough for the movies to desecrate our name, I’ll do without a second inquisition!” One of the elders snapped at the assembly. The decibels rarely rose within that room – supernatural hearing and all – but everyone was on edge tonight.
To the elder’s outcry, murmurs answered. Some disliked his passion, others agreed with his outrage and a small portion mumbled that they rather liked some of said movies.
“Calm down, yall.” The assembly always liked that elder and were quick to obey. “The first vampire I’d summon is the morgue supervisor. Where’s that dumbass?”
The crowd agreed in a unified roar. That vampire should be starved for his failure to dampen the news – not that it made sense to blame the guy with no ties to the press and who slept like everyone else when the body’s autopsy was rushed in at 8 o’clock am.
He would also be able to explain his contradictory report: traces of vampire smell on the body but only one small puncture wound made with sharp, slowly spinning object.
The police are doing everything they can to identify the body and contact the next of kin. They hope that the victim’s whereabouts before his death, along with the evidence left on his body, will lead to an arrest.
A few miles east, in Burnaby, a brown haired mother leaned in the doorframe of her eldest son’s empty bedroom. He had left home three weeks ago to get an apartment with his girlfriend in the city.
The mother hoped her son was alright; she never liked the girlfriend.
It was just weird for a young woman to be ecstatic about working nights at a pizza joint.
Coming next Friday: The Elder – Part Two >>
June 10th, 2011 at 6:58 am
Wow… now that’s how you start a story!
Can’t wait for next week.
Jim Bronyaur
http://www.jimbronyaur.info
June 10th, 2011 at 9:56 am
Hello Jim and welcome to my blog!
I’m glad you enjoyed this. I eager to start on the next chapter and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one enthusiast about this.
June 10th, 2011 at 7:08 am
What a great beginning! Very fast paced as is needed by the story line, but you get everything said that is needed as well. And it doesn’t feel rushed. I can’t wait to see where it goes.
June 10th, 2011 at 9:59 am
Thank you! It’s always good to know it works! I wrote it and when I proofread I couldn’t stop thinking: “This is a weird structure, especially for an opening. I hope it makes sense to other people too.” *laughs*
June 10th, 2011 at 8:14 am
Wow. great start. I especially love that the setting is Canada. Thanks for sharing!
June 10th, 2011 at 10:00 am
Hello Steven!
It’s nice to meet you!
From what I read, you’re actually closer to this setting than I am (I’m in Quebec City). I hope I’ll do BC justice. 😉
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!
June 10th, 2011 at 11:23 am
As I said last night I knew it would be great and as always you didn’t disappoint. I love the fast pace to the story and the structure it’s very evocative and I can’t wait for the next instalment.
June 10th, 2011 at 12:51 pm
I tried to keep the quality up for loyal readers such as yourself. 😉
Your trust in my skills is always much appreciated.
June 10th, 2011 at 11:45 am
Oh, a new serial, cool! 😀
June 10th, 2011 at 12:52 pm
This should be a short one though. “Should” because the characters, and my mind, might object; they’re all excited about to attention they’re getting. 😉
June 10th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Characters can be like that. Troublesome little buggers, aren’t they? 😀
June 10th, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Yes, they are. Sometimes I wish I could just shut the door on them all. NOT!
June 10th, 2011 at 1:38 pm
[…] Tweet of the Day: The Elder – Part One […]
June 10th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
What a great opening Aheïla! I love how you’ve portrayed a vampire assembly – having a formal structure, but behaving casually within it (“calm down y’all” and “where’s that dumbass”). The news snippets add to the pace and tension nicely. I like the modern setting too. Also, I like the way you’ve created a contrast between what is humanly heartbreaking and horrible and the depersonalized media sensation of pop culture.
June 14th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Well, I’m glad you liked so many things Tif! Thanks for the detailed comment! It’s much appreciated!
I’m also glad WordPress decided to give you your avatar back. It’ll keep me from being all confused. 😉
June 10th, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Okay, weird that WP gave me a new gravatar. …Testing 1-2-3.
June 10th, 2011 at 6:10 pm
? Huh. Dunno what’s up with that. Tis me. 🙂
June 10th, 2011 at 9:31 pm
I like this story, A! (no surprise there!) The nature of the vampire assembly, like Tiff points out, is interesting and fun, and the contrasting reactions of the different characters like the media and the boy’s mom bring out the tension of the story and earn our interest and desire for more. Great writing!
June 14th, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Thank you very much, hon! I hope next week has the same effect. 😉
June 11th, 2011 at 4:50 am
Cool a new serial. You’ve got my attention A *taps her fingers and waits* ;o)
June 14th, 2011 at 7:26 pm
*laughs* I can see you’re as impatient as me to see the next chapter published. 😉
June 14th, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Wow, that was a slice of pretty nice.
Vampire consule alive and well. Thought they’d stay hidden. It was quick but a great sampler of vamperic emotions.
Great job…. so, who killed the guy??
June 14th, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Hello W.G. and welcome to my blog!
“A slice of pretty nice,” huh? I like that. If memory serves, the answer to your question is in Part 3 (June 24th).
June 15th, 2011 at 12:38 am
Very good start, it will be interesting to see how you develop this story.
June 17th, 2011 at 5:59 am
Hello Helen and welcome to my blog,
I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope this week’s chapter will entertain you as well! 😉