Signs and Roadblocks

Today, I planned to talk about my first Pokémon flash game which was released this week. I planned to share how awesome it was to work with such a giant of the video game industry. I would have used words like “interesting”, “humbling”, “thrilling”.
But as of yesterday afternoon, I’m unemployed.

I leave Sarbakan with a heavy heart and a three years worth of good memories. No hard feelings. They fired me because my skill set doesn’t fit the company’s current needs. Nothing to do with talent or anything. They could have kept me at another position which served neither my career nor my happiness. I understand the administrative imperatives so it saddens me but I can’t hold it against anybody. I’ll whine for three days then I’ll bounce back. It’ll all be fine.

This shakes my world and begs a lot of questions. What next? I’m 24, no responsibilities, reasonably experienced in game design. Do I try to find another job in Quebec? I know people at all the other places. But then, why re-invent myself only halfway? Maybe I could find something out of the country? Or give this writing thing a shot and pile up some freelance work while I try to sell my novels? Or lose weight, go back to brunette and go to Hollywood to become an actress like I said I would when I was a kid. Who knows? Start a band, go back to school… *sighs*
The problem with having your life ahead of you is that there are sooooo many things to choose from! 😉
Luckily, I have a couple of weeks (at least) to figure out the answers to the myriad of questions in my head and choose my path.

For me, radical changes in one’s life comes in one of two forms: signs and roadblocks. They either allow you to see which direction you should take to arrive to your destination (Ultimate Happiness) or stop you on your track and force you to take a detour. Either way, you’ll get where you want to go; it’s just a matter of how long it takes and how much you learn on the way there.
I’m still not sure whether losing my job at Sarbakan is a sign or a roadblock. That’s another question I’ll answer in the coming days.
In the meantime, I’m going back at the office to pack up my things and the other game designers invited me for a farewell lunch. As I said, there are no hard feelings either way. I’ll wish them well and hope their newly signed contracts for Kinect and Move put Sarbakan in the spotlight it totally deserves.
I’ll miss my place there but I have no doubt I’ll find another one for me.

(Don’t you dare read sarcasm or cynicism in any of this. *suspicious evilish glare that looks really fake* I truly mean what I said.)

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About Aheïla

Somewhere in Quebec City, Aheïla works as a Game Design Director by day and writes by night. Known for her blue hair, unyielding dynamism and tasty cooking (quails, anyone?), she’s convinced “prose is the new crack”. She satisfies her addiction daily on The Writeaholic’s Blog and weekly on Games' Bustles View all posts by Aheïla

21 responses to “Signs and Roadblocks

  • Claire Gillian

    I’m very sorry you lost your job…but please don’t dye your beautiful blue hair brown until you absolutely have to. That would be an unwelcome detour for your fans.

    You have a good, pragmatic attitude though. You’ll be fine whether it’s a sign or a roadblock.

    • Aheïla

      I’ve got fans? Suddenly this day seems a lot warmer! *laughs*
      Seriously, a lot of the options up there are fantasies and I don’t plan on making any decisions before I’m sure what I want to do. I have been wondering for a while if I should get a fringe and a little black in my hair though… 😉
      Thank you for your support Claire!

  • Marsha

    I so admire your positive attitude. As a much older woman I can tell you yes, at 24 you have a myriad of options that will open up for you. You are obviously talented and adaptable. I left a very bad job early in life and reacted with panic and self doubt. You are already miles ahead of that. I know something good will come of this..and yes, keep writing!

    • Aheïla

      Thank you! As I’ve said to some coworkers when I went to pack up my things, I can find better use for my energy than being angry at something I can’t do anything about. The numbers won. The end. *laughs*
      And there is no way I’ll stop writing so don’t worry. That is not up for discussion. 😉

  • Re Gypsy

    Hi A, Blue is a great colour and much more becoming of a star ;o). Listen, life comes in many shapes and forms. I left the tech industry too( non disclosing in what shape or form), early this year and my life took a completely different path. Life throws you curve balls but you are always at the reins. Remember that and you will never drown… and your fans love ya style. XX

  • Ryan

    Hollywood!?!? Egads!! You’re much too genuine a person for Hollywood, but seriously, you’ll be great at whatever you set your mind to so take some time to decide and keep active. And keep writing! 😉

  • Anna

    *squish* I think I can honestly say I’ve been there, eh? XD I was sulky for an entire day.

    Start collecting unemployment if you can, it’ll give you time to think about what you want to do from here on without too much of the ‘omg need money to eat’ pressure. It could be a time to focus on writing, or submitting writing, or applying for writing programs of some sort–or something not even related to writing. :p

    (Now we just might find time to have coffee!)

    • Aheïla

      Yeah. I have to think about all that. I don’t have to worry about unemployment until after Christams (thanks to OT and all that jazz). And yes. Coffee! I’m planning on scheduling a few of those throughout the holidays.

  • Andrew G. Carson

    Hi Aheïla, I’m sorry to hear about you losing your job but I’m sure this unfortunate circumstance will lead to exciting opportunities for you in the very near future, keep your positive outlook and the World’s your oyster my friend.

  • Claudie A.

    Woah, sudden! Sucks for the job, Aheila, you really seemed to enjoy it.

    But hey, I’m honestly not worried about you, or the writing. You struck me as the type to see through hardships with a firm footing. You can do it!

    And if lose the Blue, I will be disturbed. O.o

    • Aheïla

      Very sudden. And I did enjoy it.
      So it’s a big adjustment and I don’t want to do anything rash. If I continue my career in games, it’ll be because I chose it not because I need to pay the rent. Same goes for other options.
      I don’t do things halfway and I’m certainly not going to throw myself somewhere if my heart isn’t in it.

      So yeah, I’ll pull through. I just need a little time to grieve.

  • mish

    Hi A ~~ In the context of your unique world , and taking into account your personality and view of life , I don’t know if sorry is the correct word to describe your present situation . I’m sure you will take it in your stride . You have a joie de vivre ~ it will take much more than a job loss to hold you down !
    However , it is a defining moment in your life !
    A carpe diem moment … and the possibilities are endless …
    Enjoy !!!!!!

    • Aheïla

      You seem to understand me perfectly! Quite a few people are worried and/or thinking I’m putting on my brave face and/or expecting me to crumble.
      I’m just not that girl. This is “me time”. I’ll use it to decide the color pattern on my soon-to-come butterfly wings. 😉

  • Life Below The Doorknobs

    Yikes, sorry to read about you being laid off. Though I only know you through your blog posts I get the strong impression you’re one of those people that will thrive, rather than just survive, in this time of transition. Best of luck. Oh and yes, you have fans.

    • Aheïla

      Transitions force you to reconsider things, to brush up on your knowledge of yourself and to realign with who you want to be. How many things in our fast-paced life bring such an opportunity for zen?
      So yes, it’s a bit freaky at first and yes, I’ll miss the people at Sarbakan. But I’ll also cherish the gift of change. That’s how one grows. 😉

      And thanks for being a fan!

  • Lectin Gaezat

    Come on A, I know you are a strong person so I’m not going to comfort you, or tell you to write more since you are a writeaholic -points conspicuously towards banner header-

    Just take a breather, find something you want to do and then do it. It’s the best advice/encouragement I can give 🙂

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