Today, I planned to talk about my first Pokémon flash game which was released this week. I planned to share how awesome it was to work with such a giant of the video game industry. I would have used words like “interesting”, “humbling”, “thrilling”.
But as of yesterday afternoon, I’m unemployed.
I leave Sarbakan with a heavy heart and a three years worth of good memories. No hard feelings. They fired me because my skill set doesn’t fit the company’s current needs. Nothing to do with talent or anything. They could have kept me at another position which served neither my career nor my happiness. I understand the administrative imperatives so it saddens me but I can’t hold it against anybody. I’ll whine for three days then I’ll bounce back. It’ll all be fine.
This shakes my world and begs a lot of questions. What next? I’m 24, no responsibilities, reasonably experienced in game design. Do I try to find another job in Quebec? I know people at all the other places. But then, why re-invent myself only halfway? Maybe I could find something out of the country? Or give this writing thing a shot and pile up some freelance work while I try to sell my novels? Or lose weight, go back to brunette and go to Hollywood to become an actress like I said I would when I was a kid. Who knows? Start a band, go back to school… *sighs*
The problem with having your life ahead of you is that there are sooooo many things to choose from! 😉
Luckily, I have a couple of weeks (at least) to figure out the answers to the myriad of questions in my head and choose my path.
For me, radical changes in one’s life comes in one of two forms: signs and roadblocks. They either allow you to see which direction you should take to arrive to your destination (Ultimate Happiness) or stop you on your track and force you to take a detour. Either way, you’ll get where you want to go; it’s just a matter of how long it takes and how much you learn on the way there.
I’m still not sure whether losing my job at Sarbakan is a sign or a roadblock. That’s another question I’ll answer in the coming days.
In the meantime, I’m going back at the office to pack up my things and the other game designers invited me for a farewell lunch. As I said, there are no hard feelings either way. I’ll wish them well and hope their newly signed contracts for Kinect and Move put Sarbakan in the spotlight it totally deserves.
I’ll miss my place there but I have no doubt I’ll find another one for me.
(Don’t you dare read sarcasm or cynicism in any of this. *suspicious evilish glare that looks really fake* I truly mean what I said.)