Please Provide Absurdity

Hi everyone,

Yeah, I know, it’s Friday. I should be posting an Absurd Fable right about now. Unfortunately, I spent my week neck-deep in the theories of architecture and how it applies to designing levels for games. I’m at the uncomfortable point in the writing of a training where I rehash hours of research into an accessible – and sometime funny – 25 pages long document. My brain is filled with theories of how we perceive forms, spaces and all that jazz.
It is not conducive to creative writing after a long day.

Besides, and this is where you guys come in, I have only one more Absurd Fable subject in the bank! Oh horror! Normally, I would head out to have dinner with Leaf but she’ll quite busy with some French friends who are flying over this week.
As you know, every fable is inspired by some random stuff my friends (mostly Leaf but others too) said. You, dear readers, can be my friends too!

Please provide some random stuff and/or absurdity!

Just leave something in the comment box and, maybe, you’ll get an Absurd Fable out of it. I could always resort to a random sentence generator but I’d much rather draw my inspiration from you! 😉

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About Aheïla

Somewhere in Quebec City, Aheïla works as a Game Design Director by day and writes by night. Known for her blue hair, unyielding dynamism and tasty cooking (quails, anyone?), she’s convinced “prose is the new crack”. She satisfies her addiction daily on The Writeaholic’s Blog and weekly on Games' Bustles View all posts by Aheïla

13 responses to “Please Provide Absurdity

  • Sandra Almazan

    Well, here are a couple of blog posts from Science Blogs. This one is about how journalists get science wrong:

    http://scienceblog.com/38910/siphoning-nonsense/

    And here’s one about dry water:

    http://scienceblog.com/38905/dry-water-could-make-a-big-splash-commercially/

    Hope this helps!

  • Ace

    Once upon a time, long ago, in a galaxy far away, it was a dark and stormy night. Heavy, pendulous purple clouds hung over the horizon, threatening rain, thunder, lightning, sleet, and other moist and soggy things.

    Suddenly–!

    Elsewhere, a fish walked across the road and met up with a dead chicken that had fallen from a tree. The dead chicken was staple to a monkey.

    The fish said, “Hello. I am to be borrowing some eels and a hovercraft.”

    The monkey flashed a grin. “Good on you, mate. Got a fiver I can borrow?”

    “What is being this fiver?” said the fish.

    Another grin from the monkey. “It’s like this, my old son. Every year, in Croydon, ten million dust motes gather to sing songs by Queen. That’s where I’m headed.”

    “You are headed to Croydon?” said the fish, now fully immersed in the King’s English.

    “That’s right,” said the monkey, with full punctuation. “Sorry I couldn’t savvy you earlier. I didn’t speak subtitles.”

    “Mandarin,” said the fish.

    “No,” said the monkey, “I’m not wearing a collared shirt.”

    At this point in the story, a hundred pieces of buttered toast fell from the sky and landed buttered-side up, much to the amazement and cheers of a family of lions. The lions then rose and continued on, across the vast plains, following a large river that snaked a path through the land. After many days, the lions reached the end of river where it thundered over a mighty waterfall.

    Which goes to show, every time, that the pride goeth before the falls.

    • Aheïla

      This sure is an awful lot of absurdity! 😉
      Thanks!

    • scribadiva

      Do you mind if I post this, with full attribution, your location, etc. The first time I read it, I had a head cold, and it all made sense. I focused on “Croydon,” which was the name of my father’s last hotel. But finally, the fish is crossing the road (which can be done,) and nobody is questioning the motives of the chicken, which never crosses the road.
      I’m glad I re-read this. I think it’s marvelous, and very, very funny. My fav kind of reality. Thank you.

  • scribadiva

    Hey, Woman. Could you send me your email–or I’ll look on your page to see if it’s there. You should probably delete this.
    First, I apologize for bailing on the Superhero stuff. I got involved in other commitments. Secondly, when I can, I come to read your posts. I haven’t read all of them that apply to this subject matter, but I will.
    HABITS AND CUES WHEN YOU RIGHT: I had to break the habit of having a perfectly ordered, clean house before I wrote. I know it was compensation for the disorder in my brain as to what I will write. Now, it’s green tea and music. Did you know that Goethe needed rotten apples in his desk drawer? The stench helped him collect his thoughts.
    I will read your other advice. You know I pump up people that I know after all these years of teaching, politics, computers, etc. that have true talent, and that is you. I hope you received the invite to be friends with Pacific Melody. I thought you knew her, maybe you did. The only blog feeds that are personal writers are you and Melody, and while your subject matter may be different, you can bounce off each other.
    Send me your email, because I want to tell you shy I couldn’t participate in August. It’s good news! Also, after my commitments are met, I’ll be getting into animation. Do you have channel G4, “the Attack of the Show?” There’s a package you can buy for $100 to streamline animation for Ipod, and make tons of money, because games are where the money is at.
    When you get a chance, drop me a line. I’ve got over 6000 emails (that’s with daily cleaning, and no junk.) I tried searching for it, to no avail.
    Now, to the matter at hand. Absurdity? Pick up a newspaper. Check out the woman–former witch, and “Pray the Gay Away” who won the most recent election. When I can notfocus on something, I go to the roots: To the dictionary, or thesaurus. Foolish, Nonsense, illogical, inept, senseless.
    I have a great one. I know you are in Canada, but you’be probably heard about the “mosque” they are building “at ground zero.” It’s not a mosque, it’s a community center. There are prayer rooms for every religion sans atheists. And it’s 2 blocks away from ground zero (World Trade Center) and there are two churches closer. What’s more, there was prayer rooms for Muslims in WTC before the attack.
    Ok, all nonsense, right? Questioning the man that’s organizing it, the imam, while he’s been working with the FBI, going around the world to preach tolerance. Here’s the real twist: Fox News is the so-called “News Network,” that is stirring up hate, prejudice, etc. I can give you a lot more info, but I’ll end this by saying: The money used to buy the building was contributed by the biggest stockholder in News Corp., parent company to …Fox News. And he is not Rupert Murdock. If anything is more absurd than that circus…and I’m from Manhattan, so I’ve seen lots of absurdity.
    I wrote a post on this, and mysteriously lost it. I think I’ll copy this to start it over.
    I love your writing tips, and whenever I can, I will feed you more fans/friends. Sweet tides, Linda

    • Aheïla

      Hi Scribadiva!
      Long time no see! I’ll make sure to send you an email sometime later today. And you don’t need to apologize about NaStySuMo. It’s meant to be fun and low pressure so don’t worry about it! 😉

      Rotten apples? Really? I guess we all have our weird habits! Breaking them is not necessarily easy but it does facilitate writing afterwards.
      Pacific Melody on Facebook, right? I’ll have to go through my invites and friends and track her. *laughs* I haven’t spent much time on there.

      Nope, I don’t have G4 but this new venture of yours sounds interesting. You seem passionate about it which is always good.

      I did heard about the “mosque at ground zero” but didn’t look into it much. Thanks for the info. It proves how misinformed people are. Circus is an accurate description, I think.

      Thanks for your support and kind words! Your comments are always appreciated and I’ll make sure to prep tea for the friends you’ll send my way. 😉

      Take care!

  • Leaf

    I just came back from two bus trips (back-and-forth Montreal/Quebec yesterday night, back-and-forth Quebec/Ottawa today). I. Am. So. DEAD.

    (I could call that “28 Hours After: An absurd fable in which five fools try to drive themselves crazy with too much car travelling (and not enough sleep)”.)

    BUT.

    I brang back lots of exotic wood!

    … wait. That’s not what I was going to say.

    *Rewing – Play*

    BUT.

    I’ll be back on tuesday, ready to reply to hundred of emails and provide you with some absurd stuff (if you still need it — but now that I think of it, we all need it as often as possible).

    (That’s better.)

    So. Going to bed now. Have a nice… whatever-moment-of-the-day-you-get-that-comment! (And if something here gives you a spang of inspiration, please help yourself!)

    • Aheïla

      Hey stranger!
      I was wondering where you were at! Why the hell would you “bus” around so much? It’s because of the French isn’t it? *laughs* I’m always amazed by how many places they want to see when they come here. They don’t seem to notice the scale of our province. 😉
      Anyway, I’m glad to hear from you. I hope you’re having fun. We’ll have dinner sometime after Thuesday.
      Take care!

      • Leaf

        Believe it or not, the back-and-forth Montreal/Quebec thing was NOT in the planning… ^^ We just decide to go Thurday night (at 6 pm) and stop at Langevin Forest for an hour, where we could buy some exotic wood and violin making tools. I came back with wood you wouldn’t even dream of. ^^ Orange with golden scales, and purple, and yellow with dark brown stripes, and… I’ll have to show you. ^^

        The only thing is, Ottawa was planned on the schedule for Friday. XD So we came back at 1 am and had to get up, like, three hours later to take the bus again.

        Anyway ^^ I’m waiting for that dinner! 😉 Have a nice time until then!

      • Aheïla

        Then the crazy schedule is your fault! XD
        You’ll definitely have to show me that wood.
        Try to find some time to sleep.

  • scribadiva

    Aheila,

    Thank you for your kind reply. I find Facebook is very useful if you are organizing/recruiting–in August, the American Pain Association made me an official Advocate! But you can seriously waste your life there.
    As far as absurdity goes, I’m with Leaf. There’s a definite story there. I lived in Rochester, NY when my mother was ill. My husband and I would leave for a gallon of milk and end up in Toronto.
    We lived there for a few months, but I had to come back. My husband had an accident, and he hates taking pills, so he decided to stay with friends that had a llama farm about 2 hours north of Montreal. Bus trip, hate those bus trips. Then the inevitable call: Put everything in storage and move up here, can’t live w/out you, blah, blah, blah.So I do exactly as he asked, and of course, I was a fool. Oh, I don’t want you getting stuck here in winter, (as if Rochester was the Riviera.) The movers couldn’t come for two weeks, and when they did, my landlord said no. Yes, it’s very illegal for him to do so. So he kept my stuff, I wanted to leave, and things went downhill from there.
    I love, love, love Canada. The people, no matter where we went, (or which husband I was with) were kind, intelligent, and very friendly, even in Montreal. I speak a little Basque, but no French, and they were nice about it.
    So the fools on the bus–I vote for that one.
    Thanks, Aheila and take care,
    Linda

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